Mind, Body, Spirit ~ the Basic 3 connections in our intimate relationships. I believe by sharing our
Is it realistic to believe that we can be fully connected ~ mind, body and spirit ~ to our significant other? And if there is a basic connection missing in the beginning, can it develop over time? What really makes people feel fulfilled in their relationships? These are questions I have asked myself over and over. By the time I was 30, I had been in a few very disappointing relationships and was eager to get married and have a family. I met someone with whom I shared a great chemistry and an abundance of love. I believed that I had finally found The One. I entered into my marriage thinking that our lack of an intellectual connection was not that important. I had lots of smart friends and interesting work to stimulate me. You can’t have everything, right? Or can you? My marriage fell apart as I became more unfulfilled. The absence of solid common ground on which to build our future made it impossible to create a structure that would weather any storm. I came to believe that to be fully satisfied we need to connect on three basic levels:

Physical: passion, attraction, sexual chemistry

Emotional: Love, intimacy, trust, spirituality

Intellectual: stimulating conversation, common interests

Of course we would like to have all of the Basic 3 firing on eight cylinders all the time. And of course they never will be. Even if we are lucky enough to connect on all these levels, they will always be in a state of flux. But, to me, the potential should be there for all three to thrive and grow. Now, this is not to say that there are not a myriad of other factors that make for a truly great relationship. Communication is a key element between spouses, lovers, friends, family. It transcends the Basic 3 as it should be part of each one of them. No relationship can exist harmoniously without trust and respect. But without the Basic 3 will most people be seeking those missing aspects elsewhere?

This is what I am exploring. I decided that I would write a book that represents the voices of women and men across the country and how they feel about what is important in their relationships. I believe by sharing our stories we can gain a greater understanding of what we want and need in our relationships and spark discussions that can help us better know ourselves and each other. In sharing these stories we can find comfort in knowing that there is no one way to love, no perfect way to be together and that we all struggle to find balance and joy with a partner.

I invite you to share your experiences and opinions. It is my hope that in participating in the writing of this book you discover new ways of looking at your closest relationships. As you answer the questions in The Relationship Basic 3 Survey, I hope that it helps you to define what it is that you need, what your partner needs and how you can better work together towards a satisfying life together. If you are seeking a partner, I hope this gives you an opportunity to reflect on your past relationships and see what you have learned from them as you look forward to something more satisfying. For all of us, I believe it is a chance to take a closer look at who we are and what we need to feel fulfilled as a couple.

About the Author

First time author L.H. Dalton is a Personal Coach and marketing professional residing in the Chicago area. You can participate in the author’s survey at www.relationshipbasic3.com. All responses will remain confidential.