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Relationship Advice: Top 2 Secret Ways To Become Irresistibly Magnetic To Your Wife In Less Than 72 Hours
According to new studies 5 out of 10 marriages will end in divorce. Without going into the typical boring drawn-out discussion on divorce, I’m going to get straight to the point. You are about to learn the top 2 ways to become irresistibly magnetic...
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Common Relationship Problems
The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc.), the real problem is that the two partners haven’t been talking openly to each other...
Widen And Deepen Your Relationships...Get to the Good Stuff
“Get off the surface and deepen your relationships. Go after the buried treasures and reap the rewards.” Beth Tabak
Get past the “how are you doing? how’s the wife and kids?” with the response being “good, not so good, or fine” to the story...
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The Parent Teen Relationship And How To Improve It
It was the homework that did it. Each night became a challenge in how I was going to get my son, a non-academic, to do his homework. I tried patience, encouragement, and teaching, all to no avail. I moved on to bribery, threats and punishment,...
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Happy Relationships: Give 100%
A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway," and we often
take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints
from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their
fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.
Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?
Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every
level of society from politics to business to social
interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and
emotions.
Going into a relationship with the expectation that
contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a
span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through
a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any
specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just
take for a while.
We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life
with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%.
Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful
feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just
rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are
committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out
somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in
the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different
times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other
responsibilities change.
If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is
falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so
you are much better off than you expected.
Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your
marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much
more
support than your original bargain called for!
You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership.
Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary
contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the
sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however
small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the
expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting
chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.
If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the
participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up
and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as
many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and
good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation
within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional
support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.
We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also
need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more
than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can
love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity
to give.
This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship
can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging,
negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that
leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.
About the author:
Virginia Bola is giving away complimentary copies of the report
"Seven Super Simple Tips: Keep Your Marriage Fresh" from which
this article is taken. To obtain your own copy, visit:
http://www.graburl.com/x.php?1cs.
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