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10 Simple Relationship Resolutions Tips
10 simple tips to help you keep this year's relationship resolutions.
Every January, millions of us make New Year’s resolutions to stop smoking, to lose weight, to join a gym—and to improve our relationships. Then, halfway though the month (if...
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Are you ready or not for a relationship?
Ready or Not ... by Kevin Skinner PhD www.datingsmarts.com All right folks, it’s time for a wake-up call. Are you ready for a relationship or not? Do you even want to be in a relationship? During the past few years I have been teaching classes for...
Hidden Divorce Costs
Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century. The stigma of being divorced that once existed no loger exists. This does not mean that divorce is an easy decision to make. There are many reasons why people decide to get divorced. The...
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How to Find Relationship Advice
One thing to keep in mind when seeking relationship advice is that the relationship advice business is exactly that - a business, and a big business at that. It is important to be aware that there is a lot of bad advice available in the marketplace,...
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Happy Relationships: Change Your Appearance
One of the challenges of even the strongest long-term
relationship is the difficulty in keeping things fresh and new.
We are creatures of habit, developing routines that work for us
without our having to think about it. It allows us to move
through fast-paced lives without having to make every little
decision on a daily basis. We don't want to stop and think about
which sock to put on first, which way to drive to work, what
kind of gas to put in our car, how to stack the dishwasher or
fold our clothes.
Habits make life so much more simple that it frees up our
energies to confront the big decisions and problems we have to
face. However, habits also distance us from what we do because
our mind is not engaged, When someone else points out that we
"always" do something a certain way, we are amazed because we
are unaware. Once we've moved beyond the adolescent and young
adult experimentation phase, we tend to fall into the rut of
wearing our hair a certain way, how we put on our makeup, the
kind of television shows we watch, the choice of foods we eat,
and the lifestyle we pursue.
That is why the sneaky marketing men aim their message at young
age groups who are the ones most likely to try something
different. The size and the purchasing power of the baby boomers
may be extraordinarily large but they are seldom targeted by
major advertising campaigns because they are comfortable with
the choices they have made and are unlikely to really hear
messages about alternatives in which they have little interest.
Within our lasting relationships, we also fall into habits. They
range from unwavering go-to-bed-at-night and
get-up-in-the-morning routines to the day of the week we go out,
the restaurants we frequent, and the way we communicate (or fail
to communicate) with each other. We are so used to being around
our partner that, despite the affection we may feel, we stop
seeing each other with the wonder and appreciation we felt in
those first heady months.
Shaking up our lives by dumping old habits can make us feel
younger and alive. Changing our appearance, even a few times a
month, makes us look at each other
through new eyes and makes us
focus on each other in a different way.
Women can more easily and radically change their looks because
female hairstyles are so much more varied than those of men. A
wig (or several), in a totally different color, with appropriate
makeup adjustments, can affect your response to each other. A
man can temporarily grow a moustache, a beard, or sideburns, and
elicit new attention from his surprised wife. An outrageous new
piece of clothing for a special date can transform your
interaction with each other.
Many of us love costume parties whether something dramatic at
Halloween or an only-black-and-white graphics event or a get
together with friends wearing the clothes we loved in high
school.
Be creative! If you usually dine out in business attire, get
some cowboy gear and go to a western saloon for some line
dancing. If your usual night out is at a bowling alley, dress to
the nines and have a drink at the most expensive hotel in your
area, rubbing shoulders with the movers and shakers. Try a
latino nightclub, hot dogs on the pier, or drinks with fruit and
little umbrellas at a sushi bar. Dress in your skuzziest clothes
and visit a luxury car showroom to laugh at the consternation
you cause. Use that tux you rented for your niece's wedding when
you visit the local pizza parlor and see the buzz you create.
The city of Las Vegas has a wonderful ad campaign about "What
happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." It speaks to our desire to do
something totally different and outrageous to escape the
paralyzing pastry of our normalcy - but with the assurance that
we can return without ill effects, no burned bridges forcing
permanent change.
Shaking up our appearance can shake up our partner and our
mutual interactions. Do it for the excitement and do it for the
fun. As another ad campaign suggests, "Just do it."
About the author:
Virginia Bola is giving away complimentary copies of the report
"Seven Super Simple Tips: Keep Your Marriage Fresh" from which
this article is taken. To obtain your own copy today, visit:
http://www.graburl.com/x.php?1cs.
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